Up for auction is a guaranteed place in heaven.
As a close personal friend of Jesus and someone who talks to him every day I am in the unique position of being able to offer you a place at his side for all eternity. Don’t worry about where you will spend your afterlife because of a few Earthly indiscretions committed during your youth (or even recently). A good word from me will assure your place right next to Jesus and just a stones throw from God himself. In fact, once I have put your name on the list, you can continue to perform all the indiscretions you want.
Learn to play the harp as one of Jesus’ favored few. Sing hymns in perfect pitch all day every day. Don’t worry about going to the bathroom ever again. And men, those nasty erections will be a thing of the past.
You could go to church every Sunday and spend tens of thousands of dollars and countless boring hours ensuring your place in the after life but why bother? Stay home and watch TV instead, comfortable in the knowledge that when you finally shed your mortal coil you’ll ascend to heaven on a fast track to the savior himself.
Of course if Jesus isn’t your particular deity I also know Allah, Buddha and many others.
This offer is absolutely and unconditionally guaranteed and if, in the unlikely event, you don’t make it to heaven I offer a full and complete refund. No questions asked.
What have you got to loose?
<-------- End Ebay Auction -------->
Follow the thread here at atheists.com
Friday, August 31, 2007
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
I laughed so hard I couldn't see straight!
This is not what this blog is about at all but I thought you might get as big a laugh from this as I did!
A CREATIONIST FAQ
By Richard Harter
Q: What is the principle evidence for Creationism?
A: The Holy Bible, of course. After all, is it likely that the author of the Universe would be mistaken about its age?
Q: But isn’t the Bible religion and not science?
A: Truth is truth. It’s a poor sort of science that ignores truth.
Q: But isn’t there a lot of evidence for evolution?
A: Not really, most of it is from university professors writing papers for each other. If they didn’t write papers they wouldn’t have jobs.
Q: How big was Noah’s ark?
A: Big enough.
Q: But what about radioactive dating?
A: Hey, everybody knows that stuff is bad for you. Stick with good Christian girls.
Q: What about the fossil evidence?
A: The real fossils are university professors writing papers for each other.
Q: Is there any other evidence for creationism besides the Bible?
A: Yes.
Q: Can you give us some?
A: Yes.
Q: Could you give us a specific example?
A: Yes.
Q: What would be a specific example of evidence for Creationism?
A: I’ve already answered that question.
Q: What about the Antarctic ice core data?
A: Now I put it to you. Coop up a bunch of men in a Quonset hut in the worst weather in the world, with nothing to do but gather data and drink, and what do you expect?
Q: Did the dinosaurs coexist with man?
A: Look, the liberals were preaching coexistence with the Communists, and you saw what happened to them.
Q: Should Creationism be taught along with Evolution in the schools?
A: Creationism should be taught instead of Evolution in the schools.
Q: Doesn’t the Geologic Column prove that the Earth is very old?
A: The geologic column proves that some things are on top of other things and some things are underneath other things. But we already knew that, didn’t we.
Q: Hasn’t evolution been demonstrated in the Laboratory?
A: Students are demonstrating everywhere these days. To their shame, many professors are demonstrating also.
Q: Aren’t Hawiian wallabies an example of Evolution in action?
A: No.
Q: Why not?
A: Because they aren’t.
Q: What is a kind?
A: A kind is cards of the same rank. Thus 4 aces and a king are four of a kind, but four spades and a heart are not.
Q: Doesn’t genetic variation indicate that life has been going on a long time?
A: Let’s be up front about this. That’s deviation, not variation, and yes, there is a lot of deviancy out there. That just shows that there has been a lot of Sin since the garden of Eden.
Q: What about Neanderthal Man?
A: Hey, you take one of those geezers and put him in tweeds and give him a pipe and he could be a professor anywhere.
Q: Some scientists state that the earth’s continents are drifting around on top of a molten interior which has shaped life as we see it now. Are they right?
A: As you well know the Bible says that beneath the surface of the earth is Hell where there is eternal fires and brimstone. If the continents appear to be moving around that is Satan’s doing.
Q: Why do almost all of the scientists believe in Evolution?
A: The real scientists don’t. As for the rest of them, that’s a very good question, isn’t it?
Q: Are you talking about a Satanic conspiracy?
A: Did I say anything about a conspiracy? You might want to think about the shape the world is in since the Evolutionists and the Liberal Humanists captured academia and how Evolution is hand in hand with Godless Communism and crime in the streets but I certainly wouldn’t want to say anything about a Satanic conspiracy. I just want you to think about it with an open mind.
Richard Harter is an eclectic auto-didact, a man of letters and software. By turns a mathematician, a software maven, and an entrepeneur, he has retired to the wilds where he tends his garden and his web site. He has a keen interest in science, the philosophy of science, and science fiction, and professes to have the wit not to confuse the three
Q: What is the principle evidence for Creationism?
A: The Holy Bible, of course. After all, is it likely that the author of the Universe would be mistaken about its age?
Q: But isn’t the Bible religion and not science?
A: Truth is truth. It’s a poor sort of science that ignores truth.
Q: But isn’t there a lot of evidence for evolution?
A: Not really, most of it is from university professors writing papers for each other. If they didn’t write papers they wouldn’t have jobs.
Q: How big was Noah’s ark?
A: Big enough.
Q: But what about radioactive dating?
A: Hey, everybody knows that stuff is bad for you. Stick with good Christian girls.
Q: What about the fossil evidence?
A: The real fossils are university professors writing papers for each other.
Q: Is there any other evidence for creationism besides the Bible?
A: Yes.
Q: Can you give us some?
A: Yes.
Q: Could you give us a specific example?
A: Yes.
Q: What would be a specific example of evidence for Creationism?
A: I’ve already answered that question.
Q: What about the Antarctic ice core data?
A: Now I put it to you. Coop up a bunch of men in a Quonset hut in the worst weather in the world, with nothing to do but gather data and drink, and what do you expect?
Q: Did the dinosaurs coexist with man?
A: Look, the liberals were preaching coexistence with the Communists, and you saw what happened to them.
Q: Should Creationism be taught along with Evolution in the schools?
A: Creationism should be taught instead of Evolution in the schools.
Q: Doesn’t the Geologic Column prove that the Earth is very old?
A: The geologic column proves that some things are on top of other things and some things are underneath other things. But we already knew that, didn’t we.
Q: Hasn’t evolution been demonstrated in the Laboratory?
A: Students are demonstrating everywhere these days. To their shame, many professors are demonstrating also.
Q: Aren’t Hawiian wallabies an example of Evolution in action?
A: No.
Q: Why not?
A: Because they aren’t.
Q: What is a kind?
A: A kind is cards of the same rank. Thus 4 aces and a king are four of a kind, but four spades and a heart are not.
Q: Doesn’t genetic variation indicate that life has been going on a long time?
A: Let’s be up front about this. That’s deviation, not variation, and yes, there is a lot of deviancy out there. That just shows that there has been a lot of Sin since the garden of Eden.
Q: What about Neanderthal Man?
A: Hey, you take one of those geezers and put him in tweeds and give him a pipe and he could be a professor anywhere.
Q: Some scientists state that the earth’s continents are drifting around on top of a molten interior which has shaped life as we see it now. Are they right?
A: As you well know the Bible says that beneath the surface of the earth is Hell where there is eternal fires and brimstone. If the continents appear to be moving around that is Satan’s doing.
Q: Why do almost all of the scientists believe in Evolution?
A: The real scientists don’t. As for the rest of them, that’s a very good question, isn’t it?
Q: Are you talking about a Satanic conspiracy?
A: Did I say anything about a conspiracy? You might want to think about the shape the world is in since the Evolutionists and the Liberal Humanists captured academia and how Evolution is hand in hand with Godless Communism and crime in the streets but I certainly wouldn’t want to say anything about a Satanic conspiracy. I just want you to think about it with an open mind.
Richard Harter is an eclectic auto-didact, a man of letters and software. By turns a mathematician, a software maven, and an entrepeneur, he has retired to the wilds where he tends his garden and his web site. He has a keen interest in science, the philosophy of science, and science fiction, and professes to have the wit not to confuse the three
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
My CNN I report on "How strong is your faith?"
We all live by faith. Everyone of us. As an atheist I have faith in all kinds of things because faith is believing in something for which there is no proof.
I have no proof that pixies don’t exist but I have faith that they don’t. Just like I have faith that there are no invisible fairies hiding in the clouds. There is an endless number of things for which we have no proof. Most people believe that their spouse is not cheating on them. We don’t have solid proof that they are not because we can’t watch their actions 24 hours a day (nor should we of course) which is why, if they have been cheating, it’s called being un-faithful.
What I refuse to do is have faith in something for which there is no proof at all. God for example.
With a spouse there is a track record that one can refer back to. She or he has told you on many occasions that they love only you and that there is no one else and their actions toward you indicate that is true. If you start to see evidence to the contrary your faith in your spouse will start to slip.
I have never seen a pixie and there is no recorded evidence of human-pixie contact. Unless of course you believe some story books.
I have never seen god and there is no recorded evidence of human-god contact. Unless of course you believe some story books such as the Bible and the Koran etc.
There is enormous amount of evidence that shows mankind has, all through out our history, created many many gods to explain things that we simply didn’t understand because our comprehension of the natural world was limited. Things like thunder, lightning, the northern lights, earthquakes. These are all things that we know now are just natural events of weather and plate tectonics but to early humans they couldn’t have been anything else than a god or gods.
Rain is another superb example. We need water to live and we have to carry it back to our villages. It’s heavy. We also know that it falls from out of the sky. That would be, to people with no understanding of water vapour and clouds, proof that there is something up there capable of holding all that weight until it’s time to let it fall to earth.
I win all the discussions I have against with people who believe in god and their entire argument always comes down to one thing. Pasqual’s wager.
Submit your report to CNN here:
http://www.cnn.com/exchange/ireports/topics/forms/2007/07/faith.html
I have no proof that pixies don’t exist but I have faith that they don’t. Just like I have faith that there are no invisible fairies hiding in the clouds. There is an endless number of things for which we have no proof. Most people believe that their spouse is not cheating on them. We don’t have solid proof that they are not because we can’t watch their actions 24 hours a day (nor should we of course) which is why, if they have been cheating, it’s called being un-faithful.
What I refuse to do is have faith in something for which there is no proof at all. God for example.
With a spouse there is a track record that one can refer back to. She or he has told you on many occasions that they love only you and that there is no one else and their actions toward you indicate that is true. If you start to see evidence to the contrary your faith in your spouse will start to slip.
I have never seen a pixie and there is no recorded evidence of human-pixie contact. Unless of course you believe some story books.
I have never seen god and there is no recorded evidence of human-god contact. Unless of course you believe some story books such as the Bible and the Koran etc.
There is enormous amount of evidence that shows mankind has, all through out our history, created many many gods to explain things that we simply didn’t understand because our comprehension of the natural world was limited. Things like thunder, lightning, the northern lights, earthquakes. These are all things that we know now are just natural events of weather and plate tectonics but to early humans they couldn’t have been anything else than a god or gods.
Rain is another superb example. We need water to live and we have to carry it back to our villages. It’s heavy. We also know that it falls from out of the sky. That would be, to people with no understanding of water vapour and clouds, proof that there is something up there capable of holding all that weight until it’s time to let it fall to earth.
I win all the discussions I have against with people who believe in god and their entire argument always comes down to one thing. Pasqual’s wager.
Submit your report to CNN here:
http://www.cnn.com/exchange/ireports/topics/forms/2007/07/faith.html
Monday, August 27, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Monday, August 20, 2007
I predict another attack.
I predict that. Sometime before the next election, we are in for an attack similar to 911.
It won’t be as dramatic and devastating as the destruction of the World Trade Center towers but I won’t need to be.
All Bush has to do this time is kill everyone in a McDonalds.
That will be enough for him to terrify the nation into voting Republican.
He knows that he has so destroyed the country’s support for Republicans that something drastic has to happen.
I’m not accusing the Bush regime of being behind the 911 atrocity but here’s the thing. The fact that I found myself taking the accusation seriously and pondering it shocked me. I suddenly realized that contemplating the evidence as even a possibility spoke volumes. After all the terrible things this president has done to America, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights It was not beyond the realm of possibility that Bush, and his dark puppet master Cheney, could orchestrate a “false flag” attack on their own country.
Were they behind 911? - I just don’t know.
Was it something they could have done? - I have to answer with a whispered “Yes”
So, to my prediction, sometime in April or May of 2008, somewhere in Americas heartland, a “terrorist” will kill himself and everyone else in a fast food restaurant. Or maybe it will be an attack on a train station or perhaps a library. It will have to be shocking enough to cause panic in the populace but not so horrific that the stock markets collapse. After all, that’s the only reason Bush was placed in the position of President. To generate huge amounts of money for his corporate overlords.
I am very reluctant to publish this because if it does happen, then me and my little blog will suddenly become prime suspect number 1.
I ask again. Where is the outrage? Where are all the decent Americans who want to restore their country to the shinning city on the hill that it should be?
It won’t be as dramatic and devastating as the destruction of the World Trade Center towers but I won’t need to be.
All Bush has to do this time is kill everyone in a McDonalds.
That will be enough for him to terrify the nation into voting Republican.
He knows that he has so destroyed the country’s support for Republicans that something drastic has to happen.
I’m not accusing the Bush regime of being behind the 911 atrocity but here’s the thing. The fact that I found myself taking the accusation seriously and pondering it shocked me. I suddenly realized that contemplating the evidence as even a possibility spoke volumes. After all the terrible things this president has done to America, the Constitution and the Bill of Rights It was not beyond the realm of possibility that Bush, and his dark puppet master Cheney, could orchestrate a “false flag” attack on their own country.
Were they behind 911? - I just don’t know.
Was it something they could have done? - I have to answer with a whispered “Yes”
So, to my prediction, sometime in April or May of 2008, somewhere in Americas heartland, a “terrorist” will kill himself and everyone else in a fast food restaurant. Or maybe it will be an attack on a train station or perhaps a library. It will have to be shocking enough to cause panic in the populace but not so horrific that the stock markets collapse. After all, that’s the only reason Bush was placed in the position of President. To generate huge amounts of money for his corporate overlords.
I am very reluctant to publish this because if it does happen, then me and my little blog will suddenly become prime suspect number 1.
I ask again. Where is the outrage? Where are all the decent Americans who want to restore their country to the shinning city on the hill that it should be?
If, after everything that has happened to this country and to the world, you still support Bush and the Republicans you are an absolute fucking idiot!
And remember, I used to be a republican! That was before I realised how insidious they are of course. I am certainly not a Democrat but what else is there?
Monday, August 13, 2007
Unbelievable! Un-fucking-believable!!!
This is from April 1994.
Tell every bugger you know about this.
These filthy bastard Republicans need to be in jail!
Sunday, August 12, 2007
Back into the fray.
Okay.
I’m getting back into the fray.
I can no longer drive past churches filled with cars on a Sunday morning and remain silent.
I can no longer listen to the stupid declarations of news casters on Fox news and not get angry.
I can no longer watch the devolution of our species as hysteria over imaginary gods takes hold without fighting back.
I am now going to fight back.
I was at a friends house recently enjoying a lovely afternoon when I saw that she had a curious book on the floor near her coffee table. It was entitled “A Christian Agenda”
- A Game Plan For A New Era - by Marlin Maddoux and Christopher Corbet.
Giving her the benefit of the doubt I never for a second believed that she would read such a thing, even though she does profess to believe in god. And I was right. She had bought it to resell on eBay.
I idly started reading the small paperback and after about 20 minutes a silent rage swept over me and the next thing I knew the book was in two halves, one in each of my hands.
I looked up at my friend, who had not witnessed the destruction of her book, with an obviously guilty look on my face because she inquired as to what was wrong. I didn’t say anything. Instead I simply tossed the two halves of the destroyed book on to the carpet before her. To my great relief she greeted the news with loud and long laughter.
It felt good.
I have never, ever, criticized someone for destroying a book because there is an enormous difference between destroying a book and destroying books. Plural. A single book is no more worthy of protection than a gaudy china statue of a pig dancing in a frilly dress. In fact one of my favourite pastimes now is to browse second hand shops, flea markets and garage sales for religious books, knick knacks and paraphernalia to take home and smash.
People can destroy books if they want. So long as they own them. I didn’t own this one and I therefore owe my friend an apology. My intention is to continue her plan and sell it on eBay.
The important difference between destroying a book and destroying books is who is doing it. If it’s an individual or a group of individuals that’s fine. If it’s the state that’s bad.
If you want to throw a copy of the Koran into a toilet I applaud your judgment. I would simply suggest that you be fair about it and throw copies of the bible in there also along with any other holy book you might own.
If hearing this upsets you and if you believe in god I make this promise to you. If you ever want to debate the existence of your supreme being with me I will win.
That is not such a boastful claim as it first might appear because quite simply I have all the logic, reason and evidence on my side. You have nothing. NOTHING.
You have no logic.
You have no reason.
And you have absolutely no evidence.
None!
I’m getting back into the fray.
I can no longer drive past churches filled with cars on a Sunday morning and remain silent.
I can no longer listen to the stupid declarations of news casters on Fox news and not get angry.
I can no longer watch the devolution of our species as hysteria over imaginary gods takes hold without fighting back.
I am now going to fight back.
I was at a friends house recently enjoying a lovely afternoon when I saw that she had a curious book on the floor near her coffee table. It was entitled “A Christian Agenda”
- A Game Plan For A New Era - by Marlin Maddoux and Christopher Corbet.
Giving her the benefit of the doubt I never for a second believed that she would read such a thing, even though she does profess to believe in god. And I was right. She had bought it to resell on eBay.
I idly started reading the small paperback and after about 20 minutes a silent rage swept over me and the next thing I knew the book was in two halves, one in each of my hands.
I looked up at my friend, who had not witnessed the destruction of her book, with an obviously guilty look on my face because she inquired as to what was wrong. I didn’t say anything. Instead I simply tossed the two halves of the destroyed book on to the carpet before her. To my great relief she greeted the news with loud and long laughter.
It felt good.
I have never, ever, criticized someone for destroying a book because there is an enormous difference between destroying a book and destroying books. Plural. A single book is no more worthy of protection than a gaudy china statue of a pig dancing in a frilly dress. In fact one of my favourite pastimes now is to browse second hand shops, flea markets and garage sales for religious books, knick knacks and paraphernalia to take home and smash.
People can destroy books if they want. So long as they own them. I didn’t own this one and I therefore owe my friend an apology. My intention is to continue her plan and sell it on eBay.
The important difference between destroying a book and destroying books is who is doing it. If it’s an individual or a group of individuals that’s fine. If it’s the state that’s bad.
If you want to throw a copy of the Koran into a toilet I applaud your judgment. I would simply suggest that you be fair about it and throw copies of the bible in there also along with any other holy book you might own.
If hearing this upsets you and if you believe in god I make this promise to you. If you ever want to debate the existence of your supreme being with me I will win.
That is not such a boastful claim as it first might appear because quite simply I have all the logic, reason and evidence on my side. You have nothing. NOTHING.
You have no logic.
You have no reason.
And you have absolutely no evidence.
None!
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